White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
