I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
