Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
