Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
