dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
