remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
