Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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