Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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