And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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