yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
