butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
