I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
