I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
