I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
