It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
