then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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