she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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