I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
