bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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