Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
