every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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