I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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