Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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