Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
