she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
