What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
