covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
