gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
