I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your cock deserves a montage
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
