another moral hangover. fuck.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's blow job season.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
