how do flat chested girls get laid?
I checked into jail on foursquare
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
