If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
