Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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