I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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