i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
