I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
