My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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