Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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