I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
don't judge my taste in strippers
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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