careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
