She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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