Will you blow on my dice?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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