I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
