I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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