All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
