You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
