Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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