i just had sex bonerless
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we should paint friendship bongs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
