guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
