we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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